I want funny politicians.

Here in the United States, our politicians don’t serve the greater good. They serve the ‘special interest groups’ and companies that make a lot of money at the expense of everybody else and who would like to keep doing so without interference from pesky lawmakers who might actually believe in the founding principles of this country. These groups contribute generously towards campaigns for those who will ‘play ball’. The re-election campaigns start immediately after the last one has concluded, so, how can we honestly expect there to be any time for legislating?

I can’t claim credit for this idea as I have seen more than one comedian refer to it, but I believe that politicians should have corporate sponsors stitched into their suits, like NASCAR, just for transparency and to shed some light as to whom they actually serve, and why so many can be so stubborn towards real change or helpful initiatives for fear of losing sponsorship for their next campaign, which would mean having to return to their successful private law practices, book tours, and cable news appearances full time. Oh, the horror!

The pessimist in me doesn’t see this situation changing anytime soon. That’s why I choose to vote for whichever candidate I feel is the funniest. This is why I would probably still consider voting for Anthony Weiner for NYC Mayor…yeah, he messed up, but have you seen his twitter feed? Hilarious! If you are just going to go to Congress to vote “no” on everything without giving a modicum of thought to it or the people who are going to suffer for the sake of stubborn party bullshit, I at least expect funny sound bytes from you, or for you to make a spirited, self-deprecating appearance on the Daily Show to show us that there is a personality under that hairpiece of yours. That’s all you’re good for these days, anyway. I would much rather support a candidate who holds a degree from a reputable clown college over one from Yale, at the very least, your dad can’t buy your way through one of those.


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About johnwtroy

Frustrated office worker, amateur history buff. Failed musician. Handsome.

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